JZX Post Election Update Nov 2016

 

 

 

“November’s trading volumes on JaZoN EX. were mostly on the negative side. Positive market sentiments following the results of the American Presidential election were simply obliterated.How can you expect positive side life growth when the world around you is turning towards hatred,” said the lead Economist at JaZoN & Cleopatra bank. “JaZoN Ex. has never turned a blind eye to the plight for equality and respect among its traders and certainly will not stop now. A rise in European & American racism and hatred is like poison to hope production. One of the key factors in JaZoN Ex. positive side life production.”

Zo Happy shares fell to their lowest price on record reaching a low of just 8 euros by the end of the month. A far cry from the 70 euro mark on November seventh. The companies spokes man told us “the election results wiped us out.” The future seems unclear for the newly listed Z16 composite company with faith supply for a better world completely dissipating. Happiness production is almost totally at a stand still.

The intellectual sector was somewhat buoyed by the rise in researching assets, which saw demand for understanding increase following the election results. However so far the company is reporting mixed earnings as there has been significant debate between the it was because people are really stupid or people are really racists clans inside the company. An anonymous source told us “it just isn’t clear which group is right. We are finding so much blatant stupidity and racism in our analysis of the results that we just want to cry.”

By far and large Pissed Off at America Corp. was the JaZoN Ex’s best performer, rising to levels never seen or frankly imagined, finishing the month above the 600 mark. The stock looks set rise consistently going into the new year as the new presidents transition team is filled with openly racist, incompetent players that represent the absolute worst in American culture. “Demand for anger against America has just massively surpassed our expectations,” said the company spokes man. The anger is so how it is putting pressure on sleeping assets causing sleep capital to tilt towards negative with insomnia rising and dreams output becoming nightmarish.

The other big winner was in Z Depression. Fueled by a dry spell in sports output and steady rise in stress supply Z Depression earning’s beat the markets expectations continually for the better part of the month. With hope supply at perhaps an all time low, the company looks set to keep on seeing strong demand for that, shitty feeling.