JZX Update May, 03, 2011

The month of April saw rises in honesty sector prove to feel like a smack in the face, while events of May 1st produced a WoW assets rise after reports Osama caught a bullet with his brain. Biking stocks produced strong earnings sparking a battle between My Smell Corp’s sweat & Z Odor Corp’s deodorant to rule the aromas industry excels. April’s exchange volume was normal to high.

The month’s surprise winner was Z Fighting, as high volumes of exchange while bike riding culminated in being called gay, impotent and unmanly by a man on a scooter who appeared to be confused as he wanted to exchange very aroused physical contact and enter into a manly dance session. JaZoN Sneeze Corp and Z Allergies Inc. continues to beat the markets expectations, as pollen output just won’t stop. Another underlying investment theme for the month was seen in greed assets, sparked by growth in jealousy stocks, thanks to the exploitation of kindness towards selfish profiting. Voices inside the head sector help raise Talking to thy self-shares stimulating interesting conversation and volatility on the interaction markets. Frustration soared on the JZX’s inability to expand into new business opportunities the Zederal Reserve Bank has decided to intervene.

Losses were seen in the originality and creativity industries due to poor than expected earnings, however productivity remains stable. The United States government finally managed to do something right causing a slide in the stupid anti-American sentiment sector on the 1st of May. Giving related shares lost ground as earnings failed to meet market expectations due to the continual desire for more, more, more. Residual itching and scratching resistance to nose and ear related shares continue to weigh down the overall sector as z-analysis shows the industry to be at the bottom of the cycle. No form of relief can seem to stop natural gas production from rising, causing heavy losses to constipation shares: market concerns are appearing that there may be signs a bubble developing.

The Zederal Reserve Bank is pleased to announce that following the deregulation of the ZRelationships Monetary system the Zederal Z Exchanges Committee (ZZXC) and board of governors has become active in deciding interest rates. More information will be available shortly on the site.

Treasuries overall notched down slightly as a certain amount of deflation was seen in the broader negative relationships. There has also been negative pressure on short term relationships over the last three months. Middle to long term relationships remain stable with positive relationship sentiment remaining on an upward trend.